1.I think my biggest strength in my essay was explaining quotes, I think I explained them very smoothly and gave enough explanation so the quote makes sense. ““Empathy is a spotlight of narrow focus; it shines brightly on those we love and gets dim for those who are different or strange” (Bloom 3).What I think that Bloom means here is that for people we love and are close to we will give out all the empathy they need, but for people we don’t know we dont feel the same way about giving out empathy.

2.One thing I did differently that helped a lot was adding more claims at the beginning of my essay to make it stronger. I also made sure my explanation and intro were a lot stronger than my last essay. This helped me get a good base for my essay and build of what I said in the intro. The explanation also made my essay stronger since that helped me prove my claims.

3.To integrate my source’s better I used a couple different transitions to make it go smoother into the quote, like for one quote I said something like “Wallace explains how… “or “He starts by arguing…” this made my essay more understandable towards the reader and made my essay more strong. These transitions made it a lot more smooth and definitely helped me for this 2nd essay.

4.”One thing you could use in college instead of empathy is if someone needs to talk to you about an important topic then you could sit down and have an active discussion about that instead of just one person venting to the other.” This is my strongest claim because it shows what I am talking about and what to do instead of empathy, I give another topic you could use in a college students life that can be more helpful than empathy. In the first essay I did not use my voice that much but in this essay I definitely used my voice a lot and it helped, it definitely gave more strength to my essay and I think I could connect with the reader.

5.”Social media has negative impacts on in person connections and spreads hate throughout the world.”

“David Foster Wallace’s suggestions from “This Is Water” should not be adapted in a college student’s everyday life because it could cause unnecessary stress or false hope.”

In both of these thesis’s I state my reasons and give a very brief statement on what I am going to talk about. My 2nd thesis definitely gives more of a reason to go against the prompt and I think it is the strongest one between the 2 because of how I sort of include the prompt in the thesis and give a counter argument on how the prompt should be.